The sad thing about being an old witch

Mar 28 2016 Published by under Uncategorized

Is that the young 'uns block you the minute you are "hostile" and "not supportive". Actually, it's not really so sad. For me, at least.

Background: Dr. Isis posted something challenging someone who said they were going to quit because academics is so horrible and hostile, particularly to people with disabilities. The person wanted to change it from "the outside". And got all huffy when people suggested "outside" wasn't the best place from which to affect change.

The sad thing is that two of the participants immediately, after 2-3 tweets, blocked me (and Isis, I assume). I was asked if  I was disabled, and when I didn't answer, I was blocked. And that is sad, because I have been, from inside and outside, a supporter of differently-abled people. I do research that touches on able-ism and physical disabilities. They'll never know. They've lost the opportunity to learn something.

It's very easy to see offense at every corner. Lurking behind every tree. This doesn't mean microagressions aren't real. I've seen this: for me, and the bits of intersectionality that I carry with me. I saw this, back before any of you were thinking "science". And I see it now, as an old lady. You want prejudice: being an old lady of any color, race cis/trans, abledness. Old ladies are ugly. Unless they try to look young, in which case they are pathetic. [and no, I'm not saying its the same as being.... or as bad as being... Please].

What bothers me most is the demand to be listened to, without the return courtesy of listening back.

 

UPDATE: from Bill Hooker @sennoma

system

3 responses so far

  • sel says:

    There's probably not much you can do to help someone whose idea of dealing with an opposing opinion is to say, "I'm not talking to you. I can't hear you. La la la la la!!!"

  • becca says:

    Whenever people block me I realize I don't know what's been in their whole twitter feed. If I ask a perfectly reasonable question and am attempting to communicate compassion and common ground and I happen to be the twenty-eleventeenth person to bring up what they see as a side issue, I could get blocked. It means they need a break, not that they are bad or unwilling to listen in general.
    Or it could mean I was a jerk- if it happens repeatedly in unrelated conversations where I am attempting to communicate in the same way, that's a clue. I have a higher tolerance for certain types of conflict than many people.

    I think there's a sad aspect of aging for some women in our society, a sense of becoming more ignorable. But at least it's an opportunity to wear purple with a red hat that doesn't go....

  • Sam says:

    I like becca's comment a lot on not knowing the history of the discussion but I find that it's more often the case that people just don't appreciate a good argument anymore. We can disagree, and disagree vehemently, and it's OK. People and their echo chambers...

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