"Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut" (O'Rourke, P. J.)

Jun 19 2014 Published by under Uncategorized

A twitter exchange with Adian Horner this morning about his post on negative CV's (which is well worth a read), reminded me of one of my old favorite jokes (which is excellent because it involves old and wily animals):

An old and small, let's say wild pig, is hanging out, feeling her age. She suddenly notices a young  leopard bounding towards her, jaws wide open.

The old sow thinks, "Oh, crap, this is not good". She sees an old bone on the ground, picks it up and starts gnawing on it.

Just as the leopard (probably a Millenial) is about to grab her, the pig exclaims loudly, "What a scrumptious leopard! I sure could use another, I wonder if there are any more around here?"

The young leopard hears this, and comes to a screeching halt (as best a leopard can), and dashes off in the other direction. "That was a close one, I nearly lost my life to that old pig".

A monkey, hanging out in the trees overhead (probably a  clever Gen-X), observes the whole thing. "This is good, this is good, I can use this" she thinks. So she goes to the leopard, and tells him the whole story. Needless to say, the leopard is incensed. Incensed, I tell you.  "Let's go back and get that pig", says the monkey to the leopard.

"Climb aboard, monkey" says the leopard, and she does.

The sow sees the two headed back in her direction. She knows she's too old to run. Her knees hurt, her teeth ache. So she turns her back on them, and when they are close enough to hear she says loudly

"Now, where is that damn monkey. I sent him over an hour ago to get me another leopard for dinner?"

 

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