I went to talk to a very wise someone about the problems with my department chair that I outlined here.
She gave me two insights.
The first was: rather than seeing this as you against him, it seems to me that you are both passionate about the same thing, and just see different ways of getting to things. You both want to protect, promote and support the junior faculty. He may have genuinely been trying to protect the male faculty from what he saw as an attack. [yeah, and maybe he was just uncomfortable at being called out on crap that men do, but I am trying to be open here]. But you will get further, and things will go smoother, if you look to what you share rather than how he offends you.
The second overarching insight (which *of course* we know except when we don't) is that people don't always say what they mean, and that the real message may be a layer or two down. The specific part of this insight concerned a frequent behavior from my chair that I get when I try to answer him (argue with him?). He often holds up his hands and says "I don't want back and forth on this". I interpret this to mean "here's my view, and I don't give an anything about your views". The wise person said "that could just be his way of saying to you: you're not listening to me".