There is a phenomenon that has never risen to my conscious, blog-writing mind, but one I have seen many many times. It is the site of a group, anywhere from 4 to10 young women, in their 20s hanging out in the airport. They are laughing and talking and going somewhere or coming home together. They are beautiful, to my eye, in the way that all young women are. They have lots of luggage and talk and laugh, often loudly.
It hit me while traveling to a meeting last month that this is something I never did. I never had a "horde" of girlfriends. In college and my master's program I was the only women in my major, in my program. I certainly didn't have enough money to take any kind of leisure trip with friends, let alone fly. I remember missing a friends wedding, because I simply did not have the money to fly cross-country (D & R, I am sorry to this day). I think that flying is relatively cheaper now than it was back then (30-40 years ago). I think (some) parents may be more indulgent. And, if these women are pushing the end of the 20s envelope, they may be making enough money that they can choose to spend it on this.
This past weekend, my darling and I went to have dinner with friends. My darling, beyond a successful profession, has an obsession: jazz, including writing articles & books, and producing albums and way too many vinyl albums in the basement. One of the friends, J, shares the love. It's more than loving the music, its understanding the history, and the people and the motivations and the flows of styles and themes. My darling and J talked Jazz much of the evening, and it was fascinating. J's wife had retired and Gardened with a capital G. We sat in their outdoor gardens, which were like an old Italian garden, with stone and plants and trees and a fountain. This picture is not their garden, but it could be. The Italian part was not by chance: they loved Italy and their house had large photos that J had shot: "yes, yes", he said impatiently, "I used to do photography, before digital". Photography didn't grip him anymore, but wine did (my darling said before we went, we don't bring wine, bring flowers & music, but not wine), and we started with prosecco, moved to flowery reds, comparing France & Napa, and finished with a sauterne. Passion, real passion, passion that comes from within, passion that flows out of a person is, for me, compelling, interesting, enlightening. I love it. It was a marvelous evening, and it was over all too soon.
I realized going home that everyone around me had hobbies: my darling and friends, jazz and wine and gardening and photography and golf. Some of this is time-filling for some people. For J and wife and my darling, these are not hobbies but integral parts of their lives. I thought about those groups of young women going somewhere, together, with a purpose, living life out loud (and sometimes very out loud). And then I thought about how completely science has consumed my life. I thought about getting up at 5:30 to go in and run an early morning experiment or care for animals. I never felt the pull of a hobby, the need to have a hobby. I'm not famous, and important? Not to anyone except my mother and my family. As I reach the end of my career, and what is most likely the last third of my life, I think about this.
I understand that science and research do not exist in a vacuum. I do not do my research for myself, but that as loathe as I am to use the word "community", I am part of a community. I have a responsibility to the people who fund me, my department that supports me, the people in my lab who want training, to the animals with whom I work. Yet, inside there is something more. I recognized it when J's wife talked about different perennials, when J talked about the wine producing regions of France. There is something more, in me, and that passion is enough.
I'm so relieved that they are only taking 19% out of the budget. I can cut that much.
Update and explanation: The IC from whence my money (now) flows has a minimum cut of 17% for all R01s funded (although I'm not so naïve to think that this applies to everyone). This is my first dance at this particular IC, and I have no record or relationship with the PO for this grant. So I was expecting quite the worst, as in little understanding of what my budget. We talked about what would be the absolute minimum I needed to do the work. I tried to explain what could and could not be cut.
I had not padded the budget for this for two reasons. Firstly, its wrong and on the axis of truth to lies pretty damn near lies. Secondly, actually, there is no secondly. I know some people think that it is good grantsmanship to pad the budget in case of cuts, but that is not going to solve the problem (which is still, in my view, too many mouths at the trough).
So, the potential for cuts up to 40% exist. That I had only 19% was of great relief to me.
I am not tired of being me, of being over 60, of being where I am in life. I am not tired of how I look (though, of course, I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that has been true of me for the last 40 years, really). I would not trade where I am now for youth.
What I am tired of is the condescension and patronizing attitudes of younger people, particularly younger men. My almost-MRU has put in a new "wellness center", including a state-of-the-art gym. With a Pool!. I have been using it. They have a "wellness portal" that we are encouraged to use, with the usual information, misinformation and buzz words for fitness. I did sports in high school and college, when it wasn't easy for girls/women. Up until an injury, I ran 10-30 miles a week. I was a lifeguard, and did local Master's Swimming (but not well). When I logged on to The Portal, I found my account tagged with a note:
Your personal data indicate that you are a high risk individual. We will need a doctor's clearance before you can use our facility.
WTF? What is the data? That I am old, and "slightly overweight for your height". (I hate BMI, because I am (slightly) muscular and have always been high, but that's another rant). Really? Fucking really?
There is a form to fill out for a health insurance co-payment reduction. It requires a doctors signature, and you guessed it, available through the Wellness Portal. I couldn't find the form online, the contact info was out of date, so I emailed the Wellness Portal Liason (I kidd thee not, that's the title). I explained that the only form was out of date (ie contact info), couldn't be read (a bad scan of a bad scan), and not particularly useful to give to my physician (too many irrelevant pages for her). The email I got back was awful. The email was full of implications that I couldn't use the website (everyone agrees its beautiful, but useless, kinda like the people who work there), that perhaps if I looked harder, or worked harder, it wouldn't be such a problem for me. Oh, and I should stop complaining and just use the damn form that they provide (which is buried in six layers of menus). All this said, of course, in the most business/polite language. If I spoke that way to students, I would be having a meeting with my chair and dean to answer a myriad of student complaints.
I am not in a good place to be told to work harder. I'm in the middle of challenging experiments (live large animals), and everybody, EVERYBODY in my group is exhausted. It's a new version of our model, we've learned a lot. This is the first day in about 10 that I've been able to sleep past 5:30 am. I (and others in the group) have come in to care for animals at 4:30a more than one day, and stayed till afternoon to work on the problems we're having. Let me add, though, that the group is incredible, working hard, and I am totally thankful for the marvelous people on this project. I'm not complaining about the work. It is my choice. But, I'm not in a good place to be told to work harder by anyone.
Older, not-glossy-magazine-pretty, women are invisible in our society. There are studies that show the intersection between age and gender (let alone race) is enough to sink course evaluations. The most frequent comment is that I am not sufficiently nurturing to be a good teacher. Indeed, I'm not nurturing. I'm pissed off and angry.
There are two ways I can think to do this: add more grant cycles (shortening the whole process), or shorten the time in various steps. I think what was being discussed here was shortening the time from submission to decision, so let's talk about that first. That time consists of multiple steps:
Submission -> review -> calculation of score & summary of review -> council meeting -> letter of offer
The impact for the proposal submitter of shortening steps is really only in that first step. The review-> calculation, posting of score & receipt of reviews is pretty fast right now, and after that its just grinding the gears of destiny.
So the question becomes, in terms of helping newbies, if you could submit the grant on Monday and know the answer on Friday, would that make a difference to your fundability or career (as long as we are limited to three cycles a year)? For my part, I don't see how it would. You would be able to resubmit in time for the next cycle, rather than skipping one (see below for more on timing of cycles). That’s basically four months earlier. I guess it could be argued that really determined PI could then hit three cycles a year, rather than two (again, see below). Would that increase your chance of funding by 33%? I doubt it. There is a zero-sum game aspect to this. Everybody else would also be hitting those more frequent deadlines, too.
Would you get funded 33% earlier? Maybe. It depends on what the unit of successful-grant-getting is. If one needs to submit say 3 or 4 or 6 or 8 iterations to get funded, then getting those iterations through the system faster could result in getting funded faster. On the other hand, what if you need to do a certain amount of work to get it right? That is, what if you need 6 to 12 months per proposal to improve your score, improve how the proposal is perceived and in general do what needs to be done to change the proposal? You can be, and need to be, doing that work as soon as the proposal is submitted.
So, let's just look a bit at the logistics of a change. As one who has lived from the days of solid matter (i.e., paper & photographs) submissions of grants & manuscripts, through to this day e-subs, the cycle for manuscript to published paper is incredibly faster and more efficient than it was 20 or 25 years ago. This is true even though the business part of the cycle (reviewers reviewing & reading & commenting) is probably roughly the same amount of time. The savings has come in all the other parts of the process. So why hasn't this changed for grants? I am not sure, but there more grants in the system, an increase from about 24,000 to 52,000 over the last 20 years (data from NIH). Maybe the grant cycle, and the NIH handling of grants was more efficient to start with than your average editor and typewriter in (usually) his office.
But it does raise the question: could the four months from submission to review (on average for R-awards) be shortened? Resubmissions are later in, by a month (see table below), because they usually go back to the same study section & same IC as the original. This suggests the act of sorting proposals into study sections and ICs takes about a month. When I have reviewed grants, I have received them about 6 - 8 weeks prior to study section. So there is a month for the SRO's to get a list of grants to review (assuming that it takes a month for NIH receiving to sort the proposals to the appropriate place, but it could be longer) and divvy them up amongst members of the committee, balancing assignments and dealing with COI's.
We are now running up against some structural, administrative issues on how NIH works. It is conceivable that we shave a week off of getting grants to the SRO's and PO's who handle the pre-review logistics. My sense is that most of those folks are working their tails off getting to the point where the proposals are assigned to and in the hands of the members of the study section. We could shave another week or so off the time that reviewers get to review. Although honestly, for the Feb review sections, I often get the proposals in mid-late December. A week shorter would mean essentially getting them in January for an early Feb review. Not a lot of time. I don't perceive much room for "shaving time" in these steps. As for the rest, scores are up in a few days, and reviews are out as soon as they can be, with ESI and NI proposals coming first, as is. Getting reviews back, two or three or even four weeks earlier, or alternatively submitting them 2-4 weeks later? Would that really make a difference?
This brings us to making four cycles a year, each shorter, each with maybe (??) fewer proposals that could be handled more quickly. Never say never, but the administrative machinery for three cycles a year is so large, and filled with such inertia, that changing to four cycles would be difficult. This is in constrast, to say, changing criteria, such as adding transparency and rigor, or format, such as the myriad of changes in the biosketch, or changes in page length, or adding innovation and significance sections. These changes may be difficult and resisted by reviewers and study sections, but they are readily easy to accomplish from the NIH-bureaucratic perspective.
However, all is not lost. It remains for us to think about how to use the timing to our advantage.
You can enter an code (K-awards, for example) and see the due dates. A week later. It might matter for someone younger.
K series new
Research Career Development
K series renewal, resubmission, revision
Research Career Development
As you can see Ks are different from R01s. But still, if your R or K or F doesn't get a fundable score, the turn-around usually does not include making the next cycle. That's because of this schedule (the merit review is what's important, here):
Review and Award Cycles
Application Due Dates
January 25 - May 7
May 25 - September 7
September 25 - January 7
Scientific Merit Review
June - July
October - November
February - March
Advisory Council Round
August or October *
Earliest Project Start Date
September or December *
You may submit in Cycle 1, Feb or March for a June review, and get the scores immediately, but reviews (which need to be addressed in the re-sub) can be as quick as 2-3 weeks, but often more like 4 weeks. Thus, the next reasonable (and this can, and is argued about at length) submission will be to skip Cycle II and hit Cycle III. Sometimes. If there's a lot of work to be done, not just wordsmithing, it can take a year (N+3 cycle). This results in, effectively 2 submissions a year, averaged out over the cycles.
So what is the downtime in this timing? The 4 months between submission and the review. I don't, and the successful people I know don't, sit around waiting to see what happens. In my experience that time is filled with teaching, redoing analyses, and figuring out how to make the proposal better next time around. If you've got at least two proposals in you then you get them working like a pair card-sharks ruffing in a spades game. One goes in Cycle I, and then next in Cycle II, when the reviews for Cycle I are back, you can turn it around to submit for Cycle III, just about the time the reviews for the 2nd submission come back.
That's if you have the stamina to get a proposal in every cycle. It may be that the reviews are such that you need to do a lot more work. Maybe you have some very significant teaching requirements, and you can only write in the summer. Maybe you need to publish a few papers, because the biggest critiques surrounded your productivity. Maybe you need to skip a cycle.
Yes the world is an ugly place, and not welcoming of young scientists. But, I had a discussion with a young faculty friend lately. She was always exhausted, physically, mentally, and this despite having landed her first R01 (pre-tenure). She said that she felt every day was a sprint to the evening. I said that its not just a marathon, its an ultramarathon. You need to find a rhythm, a sustainable rhythm and stay with it. Sometimes, you aren't running fast enough, and you need to pick up your pace. Sometimes, you can insert a little sprint, but you need to find that pace you can sustain. The finish line is far, far away.